I was busy unpacking all the stuffs I brought back from my 6-years-shelter, when I found a bag full of our memories. The so-called First love huh? Well it was, indeed.
A London keychain, a keychain with my name on it, a watch which he gave me on my 17th birthday, a birthday card, our 1-year anniversary card..... and ............
It was with him that I started to learn how to express myself, which I found I was best at expressing through words. I used to write poems, about me, about him, about everything. He encouraged me to be someone I never thought I could be, to do things I didn't think I was good at, and to achieve higher and fly as freely as I want.
I was glad, felt grateful that he found me, and I found him. We found each other, and then we lost each other. Life goes on. We moved on, to a very different path, that I think would never meet again, at any point of our lives. But I believed in one thing, God sent me him for a reason, even when he's gone, he would always be right here, with me :) It's not because I still love him. No. It's just simply because he has been an inspiration to me :) He showed me the world in different view, and he looked at me differently, like no one else did. He was.. an angel to me :)
After he left, which was long ago, I used to write to him. Well actually I used to write poems for him, or just letters, or even drawings. Anything, anything I would like to express, as if he'd be reading them. Despite the fact that I would never mail the letters etc., I still keep them till now, even sometimes I just spent my time reading all those stuffs I wrote for him.
I almost forgot about those stuffs I wrote, until the moment I read it just now. Reading those stuffs, made me smiled. I am impressed with my own self, for writing those expressions, those letters, not because of the vocab or the bombastic words I used, it's just simply, because.. those expressions I wrote to him. remind me. of how I could love somebody. beautifully. so deeply. ....
And I wonder why, I can only write love poems, a happy one, only when, I think about him. Maybe. because. the fact that he made me feel so special back then ... like a Lady :) like a Princess :) like a Queen :)
I took a risk by writing this post. You might think I'm still in love with this so-called First Love, but just don't get me wrong. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't think our paths will eventually meet someday, and I accept the fact that we have our own lives now, and we can be happy without each other :)
I wrote this, not for him. But for me, to express things, the way I love. The way I want. But if he ever reads this,
Thank You.. for letting me go, and see the world on my own *winks* Whether you like it or not, you'll always be my inspiration .. sorry! ^_^
and that's the end... of my neverending story.. bout you ;) ^_^
